I have only considered how I want to feel as part of my goal-setting process only in the last 2 years or so. This was inspired by Danielle LaPorte’s book, The Desire Map. I consider feelings now because our goals are our goals only because of an innate desire to feel a specific way.
I have considered things that stress me out during the initial stages of setting my goals. In this stage, I consider positive emotions that I want to have.
I came across Happy and Authentic’s “List of Positive Emotions.” Unlike other lists, they list emotions into groups. I looked at this list for refining my goals and delete words within groups if they don’t apply. For definitions of each emotion, refer to Personal Develop Fit’s “List of Positive Emotions.”
Identifying the emotions I want to feel
When I made the first pass through Happy and Authentic’s list, I identified 20 groups of emotions that I want to feel in the next two months. This is a lot so I narrowed them to 8 sets of emotions:
- assured and confident that I am taking the necessary actions on my weight and scientific author goals.
- balanced and congruent in that I can care for myself each and every day amidst the pursuit of my goals.
- capable, creative and resourceful that I can create the life that I want.
- free, carefree and independent. At times, I need to feel as though I have no cares in the world. I usually need a few hours a week to do whatever the hell I want (within reason) on my own. This carefree feeling usually goes in hand with feeling balanced and congruent.
- calm, relaxed and tranquil. The sense of calmness comes after I take action on my goals.
- flirty, sensual and desired. My need to lose weight is not only about looking good but also feeling desirable.
- relieved that I have taken care of the actions to my goals and that I am on the path to success. Sometimes, this requires a large input of time and energy in the beginning.
- mindful, peaceful and present. Presence is important for me. Now I rather work on one thing at a time to completion. Presence is related to how I do things on a daily basis such as batching my work.
Now that I know how I want to feel, I rearrange the feeling into an order where one feeling feeds into another.
Order the emotions so that one feeds into the other
I took four passes through the list above to reorder them into a sequence that brings me alive:
- capable, creative and resourceful.
- mindful, peaceful and present.
- assured and confident.
- free, carefree and independent.
- flirty, sensual and desired.
- calm, relaxed and tranquil.
- balanced and congruent.
The first three feelings literally come with taking action on my goals. Feeling relieved comes after. It is only after feeling relieved that I feel carefree. And after doing something to feel sensual and desired, I get a sense of calm and centeredness.
Then, all is well.